Schrödinger’s Heart Attack
I spent the morning in the Beth Israel emergency room. From 4am until just now.
I woke up clutching my chest in the most excruciating pain I’ve felt in, possibly, ever.
I’m pretty sure that a friend from high school just died of a heart attack.
My very first girlfriend died of a heart attack years ago.
It didn’t go away when I moved around, didn’t go away when I drank water, didn’t go away when I relaxed and did deep breathing exercises, just didn’t go away. There was no way I was having a heart attack – I mean, that’s for other people.
I quickly did the basic math:
If I call 911 and am wrong and it’s nothing, I waste time and money and live and get treated for whatever it is;
If I don’t call 911 and am wrong about it being nothing and don’t get treated, I waste time with angina or worse and I die sooner than later; or
If I don’t call 911 and am right that it’s just indigestion, then I am just a worrier and should chill out.
The problem stems from the tension between 1 and 2. I like to call this problem Schrödinger’s Heart Attack.
In what I can only describe as a Swerdloff-style moment, I drew a Game Theory box in my head, deciding on the most rational outcome. With Death weighted pretty heavily and potentially avoidable, and the cost of calling much lower than the cost of death, I decided not to screw around and with shaky fingers, dialed 911.
I spent the next 10 hours getting poked, prodded, and otherwise examined. I am going to live, although the hard living has to be dialed back. Doesn’t mean I can’t have fun anymore, just that I have to be more mindful of my life. And, lest anyone worry, my heart is fine, it was other (eminently treatable) issues.
One interesting side note – in an effort to get more extensive HIV testing done in New York, Beth Israel was giving away free, confidential mouth swabs. I got one done, figuring that I was just sitting there anyway. I was actually very impressed that they were doing it there – bring the mountain to the people, as it were. My test came back negative and then they sent me on my way. So, two pieces of good health news, despite one very scary morning.
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